Tupac said it best, "today was a good day"

So yesterday, I was driving home, and I hit a raccoon. I have never hit an animal, but I certainly heard the thud. Don't be alarmed, I didn't swerve. (recall the important lesson I learned in Michigan this year, "Don't VEER for DEER!!") I realize this is a random fact, but before this mistaken murder, I was thinking...

I am happy this year. Truly happy. My friend Miss Happy Go Lucky, would tell me, "the universe is on your side." I am happy with all the things in my life. (well with the exception of my balance on my credit card), but overall, I can't complain. My nails are super long, not chipped and painted red. This is rare because of boxing, hockey and house cleaning. See the photo, and then sigh. I made it through my company Christmas party (with a date, I might add) without numchucking anyone. The real challenge is today, when the comments roll in. Don't worry, I don't have to ask for them, people just offer that info for free. However, it wasn't a bunch of negagtive Nancys which I have come to expect. I succesfully pulled off the GREATEST surprise party EVER for my mom, with a little help from my friends. Go ahead, sing the Beatles song, I know you want to. My mom is amazed that I can keep such a good secret. I have gotten quite good in the last few years. I am like a sponge of info. Plus as a bonus, my cousins Robert and Amber came, and it was just nice to be reminded how much fun they are. They tell the best stories, laugh with the most volume, and generally make feel glad that we are family.

I am also dating someone who is nice. The gang has nickednamed him Diego. Which is fine with me. He is nice, and thoughful and considerate. He has a personality and a life and he brings some laughter into my day. I am thankful he is around.

Tonight I am cooking for the neighbors, so I am happy to be spending time with the people I like the best. Although, Hollywood, has started the meal at home. Hey she is a teacher, she has lots of fun vacation. When she isn't being an actress, my side kick, master direction giver, friend, advice giver and what not, she is helping me cook a mean vat of taco soup! Nice.

Although I am dragging today from being up late, I managed to find time to write a blog.

Diana Out

The day before vacation...

So it's the day before vacation, and I am so excited. Why because Employee Appreciation Week beat me down last week, and I am still wheeling from it. Clearly by Friday, I just had to try out the slide in the bounce house to ensure that it was fun for the children. But seriously, that week is hellicious! The planning alone is a beat down. However, this year, I had a new little helper, the kid aka Chicago. She is our new HR rep, and she is 12. Don't worry, I all ready told her she was 12. She reminds me of me when I first started working my first job after college. So full of life and good ideas and energy. The cynicism hasn't even touched her. It's great. Not to mention, she is a yankee, and that makes her my people. I am happy she is here, and I am happy that she helped with this Employee week, because without her, it could have been much, much worse. Like say, LAST YEAR!

So tomorrow I am heading off to Traverse City which is very awesome because it reminds me of my childhood. My family and I used to always vacation there, and I remember this awesome little magic shop. I hope it's still there. This time, I am taking my BFF Hollywood with me. She is very excited too and has focused on bringing a parka. I think it's funny. But it won't be too funny when the temp drops to 38 at night. Well it won't be funny for her if she forgets that parka.

So today, although it is Tuesday, it is really my Friday. So I better get to cracking. I have a paper to write for school.

A typical Monday in August

So I dreaded today as I do every Monday. I laid on the couch like a slug yesterday barely moving. I do this on June's (June is my mom, it's her code name) couch, because even though I have my own coach, her couch feels like home. So laying on it leads to eating on it, which leads to drinking fabulous coffee on it, that is so good the kitchen could become a cafe, and this is because she brings it to you while you lay on the couch and always brings me something sweet such as a white powdered brownie, like last night. Yep, she made brownies just because she felt like it. I did not inherit this gene. I don't have to ask, it just appears automatically and I like that. It was so good I had the dreaded second cup. I know better. The second cup stands for laying in my own bed flipping from TBS to USA to TRU TV with my eyes wide open and then counting down how many hours it will be until I get to work. I know better.

So I had the most unusal dream of this totally hot italian guy. I can't remember his name, but I remember it being awesome. I can't imagine what prompted it, but I have decided I am destined to marry an Italian. I mean, olive skin, an accent, pasta making skills, num chuck skills, romance in the blood, a desire to have twins. Ok, it could happen. But it was so vivid, I really thought that me and my Italian were going to go motorcycle riding near the ocean.

Then I woke up and it was Monday...

This and That

SO...it's been a while since I have blogged so I have many, many stories to tell.

Story Update #1 "my crotch jeans." They have been repaired 3 times. First the patch that is on the outside of the pants, (how awesome is that?) then I got a hole next to the patch, naturally. Then she fixed the second patch, only to cause another hole. All holes have been patched and life is good again. However, another tragedy has occurred, my MOST favorite running skirt. Yes, the one I wear that is Nike and helped me survived the Disney marathon, has 2 holes in the crotch. You would think all that darn running would make my thighs smaller and prevent the holes. You guessed wrong. They have been sent to my mom's for repair. She claims that she will have to get bathing suit material to salvage this item. This could take a while.

Story #2, a good friend of mine, let's call her Ms. Hot legs, always says, "the universe is on your side" Now I have to admit that that comment seems a little fruity and that she might, in another life, be from California. HOWEVER, sometimes she is right on the money with this comment. So on Monday, I got a freaking cold sore, and if you really know me, this ruins my day and I want to put a brown paper bag on my head. I can't control them but they are the worst thing ever and naturally happen to me at the worst times. It goes back to my Iphone. I don't know if I told you about my Iphone. When I was having dance fever at the bar at a bachlorette party, my iphone fell out of my purse. I didn't notice. I only checked for my wallet, and when I heard a thud, I thought it was nothing. My wallet was still in my purse, and I zipped it up. I had it open while I was getting money out. Well then my girlfriend, let's call her Ms. Hollywood, back at the hotel, gets a text message from me at like 2am, only it wasn't me. Someone had found my Iphone on the ground. YIKES! He or She texted her because she was the last person I called I guess. So the person said he was staying at Joule (some hotel in Dallas), and that he would leave it at the front desk for me under my name. So Ms Hollywood said OK, and that we would pick it up the next day. So when I got to the hotel at 3am, Ms. Hollywood told me the story. So of course, I was totally stressed out because that dang phone has my whole life in it and I haven't backed it up since I got my computer up and running. (that is a whole other story) So I couldn't sleep and I was really wondering if someone was going to "really" leave my phone at the front desk. So we googled the hotel and drove there the next morning and went to the front desk and told the lady, and of course she looked at me like I was crazy and told me to have a seat. I told her my name and described the case. Then 2 minutes later, a man brought me my phone. It didn't even have a scratch on it. So that was good. I was so relieved. So off we went to lunch. So then 1 day later, I woke up with a cold sore probably because all I could think about was a lost phone and $200.00 I would have to spend to replace it. STRESS = COLD SORES in the land of Diana. Stupid body! Moral of the story: the universe is on your side - SOMETIMES - !! Now, what I really felt good about is this, just when you have given up hope on all of humanity and that people are evil and are only out to screw you. (i.e. previous people in my life and some boyfriends who remain nameless) A person appears that actually has some good in their heart. Ah yes, all is right with the world.

Story #3 is my computer. Or maybe I should say the drama continues in my life...My super techy, also known as Ms. Hollywood, was over saving me from another crisis, that also was about my Iphone, and she said, "Diana, this computer is about to die." Then she explained a list of signs, the grinding noise, the 20 minutes it took to boot up, the programs on it. Yadda, yadda, yadda. So I took this info as hey, this is serious. I called my techy genius brother. I said the computer is about to die, and oh by the way, my laptop has administrator rights and guess who isn't the administrator. Move to next scene. I drop laptop off at house for repairs. Repairs include formatting, which means erase and redo in normal human talk. So in the mean time, I was using the junker computer. AND THEN IT DIED. I was making a fabulous ring tone for my gaybors and then nothing. No noise, no boot up and just a black screen of DEATH! So I shipped that computer off too. Then I was computer-less at home for about 10 long days, it would have been much longer if I had not thrown a serious hissy fit at my brother. Hence, 2 days later it was complete, and I had to pay up in the amount of a Thai dinner. I know you think, that is an awesome deal. WRONG. My brother can eat a small human for dinner. But all in all, it was worth it.

Story #4 - my brother the artist with techy type smarts, and a smart dry sense of humor, and crazy fashion sense, and super HATER of all things conventional or normal. Basically through the computer fiasco, I had to get an earful of the following, "don't do this, or your will F it up, or this, or this. And I put on a dummy proof program to help you not F it up."

So basically he has a serious issue with anything mainstream which includes Itunes. Well guess what, I have 2 Ipods and an Iphone, I have to use their freaking program, it backs up my LIFE! So I did the first back up 2 night ago, say good bye to my IPhone apps, I was about to by super hysterical, but then I learned that was the only small issue. No contacts or calendar items were deleted so I didn't have to throw the computer down the stairs.

That is folks. Enjoy.

The Crotch Patch Jeans

Ok, so I have these jeans, which I love. They fit good. They stretch good. They are the right length. So a few weeks back, tragedy struck and they got a little thin and a hole appeared...at the crotch. This is typical wear and tear I suppose. So my mom, being the excellent seamstress, she put a patch on. I know you what you are thinking. Great, the pants are fixed. BUT WAIT! The patch is on the outside of the jeans. Hello patch on the crotch! I guess this means I can't keep my legs open in any yoga positions. According to my mom and all her perfection, the patch had to be there because of the seam. Whatever. Now, last night, I had a rowdy good time with my dear friend, and well, we laughed, drank wine, discussed our master plan, ran an errand and dyed her hair all in one fail swoop. And then I was getting ready for bed, and HARK, there is a ROWDY HUGE hole next to the genius crotch patch. I know, you think I am a party animal. However, now I have to go to my mom's to get another patch. DOH! Good thing my mom doesn't charge me.

Let me get the door for you

So I have a hopeful blog to write. So when all hope is lost and you think that there are no decent men in the world left to even consider decent. One shows up right in front of your face. Let's call him Jeff. Jeff walked into my office last week at the end of the day and invited me out. I couldn't have been more glad to have dropped my original plans to have a night of fun. A night where I could feel a little human again. He treated me. How nice. A treat, for sure for me, since I had $4.00 in my wallet. And a t-shirt to prove I was there.

On top of the happiness I felt for the night, more was to come.
He then accompanied me to an event that NO man wants to attend. Have you guessed it? Yes, a wedding. All men dread weddings. So he purchased a new outfit and we were off to San Antonio. I know, it was even out of town. Ultimate sacrifice for a man, another wedding in a my world of not wanting to go to another wedding, but wanting to be there for my friend, and his new found wife who I am hoping will also become my friend.

Now back to Jeff, he is sweet, and he is funny, he is attractive, and he has a humble side, and best of all he makes me laugh. I mean the kind of laugh where you don't have to try to laugh to make someone feel good, the laugh that starts in your belly and makes your eyes water. He helped me drive, he opens my door, and he lets me order dinner first. He even left me the last towel in the hotel so I would have to air dry and shake until I was dry. I don't get tired of him, we always have a lot to say or nothing to say and it's not uncomfortable. In a word it's nice. Just nice. Nice to have someone who puts something on the table for me. Does nice things for me. And he does it because he cares. And maybe that's all I need at the moment, is to know someone cares for me.

How much do I love technology?

Ok, so I am sitting here as my beloved IPhone syncs with the oldest computer known to man. My computer. Although I have a new monitor that finally matches the rest of the computer, it runs the pace of a snail. And it makes grunting sounds below. I am just waiting for a skull with cross bones to appear on my computer to announce that it is DEAD.

So I think to myself, I will sync up my IPhone today, but alas there is a new Itunes update. So I click update. Easy enough. So then it starts making the bar move back and forth and that means its updating. Right? WRONG! It gives me an error message. I am like WTF? So I try to turn the phone off. NEGATORY. It turns back on with the message of plug me into Itunes or else. I am like, SHIT! So I reboot the dinosaur of my computer, 10 minutes later, we are trying this insane thing again. Well guess what ERROR! At this point I am thinking, I could just throw this damn thing down the stairs. All too tempting.

So I panic, and call "Hollywood", also known to me is Computer genius that is slightly more smart then me. She is like, go to the apple site and see what the deal is. So I do, and it says to re-download Itunes. DAMN IT. So that is what I am in the process of doing.

I am so frustrated I could scream. I could be lounging on my parents couch while my mom makes me a sandwich, but NO, I am screwing with this damn phone. And I have to because it's my only phone. (unless I bust out the work phone for emergencies) Kill me now.

This better work, or someone is going to die.

The Spring Clean of 2009

Hello from the bottom of my closet. You pick which one. So my good friend and I have vowed to have a garage sale. I know, I could haul all this crap down to Goodwill. Yes, I know there is a tax right off. **The gaybors told me, at least twice** But hey, I got a lot of good stuff that I believe people would pay good money for. So guess what, in order to clean up my finances, life and other such things, I am going to sell the stuff. So my garage is starting to bulge. It looks like a clusterF*&%. I don't even like to pull the car in and see all the crap staring at me. BUT, there is also a sense of accomplishment. Because, when I walk into the house, I know IT has less crap in it. I will admit, I haven't cleaned out the house in what 4 years, or since I moved in. So guess what, more stuff has been bought and brought in.


So the process began like this. One room a weekend. I started with the kitchen, which included the fridge. Mustard doesn't last forever, contrary to my belief. I would hate to die from eating it. It's amazing what I stuffed in the pantry. The kitchen took about 3 hours. I re-organized and got rid of crap I didn't want, use or need. From there, I moved to the upstairs. The laundry room clean out was conducted on Martin Luther King Day. I celebrated with throwing out more stuff. The next room was the hall closet. I know it's not a room, but good grief, I found 3 unused cans of shaving cream. Good to know, since now I don't have to buy it for 6 months. OK, OK, who are we kidding? at least a year. I am not the biggest fan of shaving my legs. I am blond, no one can see it. So who cares. Oh did I mention it's winter too? Right. So even though I am brunette on the top, I am a blond true in true. OK, back on topic. Then I cleaned out the bathrooms, and you know what I mean, under the sink. It's amazing how much bath and body stuff you store when you don't know you have it, and continue to buy more body wash. I don't need body wash for at least a year. REALLY!!! Or candles for that matter, doing good on those too. So TODAY, I did the guest room closet and guest room drawers. It took another 3 hours. Oh and I did one end table in my bedroom. Amazing on what I found. An old diary, old pictures of boyfriends, year books from high school, 9 race medals, *SIDEBAR* I have run 6 half marathons and 3 full marathons. I didn't even know that until I found the drawer with all my medals in it. AWESOME.


So here is what I have left. The other end table, the EVIL bedroom closet, and *scarier music* the ATTIC! ARGH. I have to say I saved the best for last. That could take more time. But I definitely believe in the one room a weekend or insanity might set in.


Cleaning the house, is cleaning out my life. It's a good thing. It's good for me.

A contact deleted...

So today I woke up very sad. It's not because I wanted to. It was out of my control, really! I was dreaming. Dreaming of an old love. Dreaming, so when I woke up, I almost thought it was real. I hate that. It's frustrating. Can't you block that stuff?

***SIDEBAR: I was watching "My Own Worst Enemy" with Christian Slater, and he has a memory chip so he can have 2 personalities. I want that installed this year. ***

I mean I wish I could control my subconscious, because if I could, I would erase that person for my memory for the new year, then when I was finally done missing him, I would enter him back in for the good memories. This seems to happen when I am deep in sleep, and then when I wake up, I smile, and then frown and then cuss the alarm because clearly it's too early to be getting up. I am going to add something to throw the next time. Something that could shatter into a million pieces, like a vase. That might be a good release. I also contemplated a voodoo doll. I know, I know, it's bad, but boy if it worked, that would be so cool.

So today as I was sitting at my desk, avoiding the audits I so clearly need to be doing. I opened my phone, and deleted that old love. I would say his name, but I vowed not to do that in the new year either. No stories about him, no saying his name, and if I could control it, never thinking about him. Deleted everything, the address, the phone number, the email, everything. Is this part of the cleansing? I don't know. It was hard, like I didn't want to let it go. But then I asked myself, what the heck am I keeping this for? The hopes of a phone call that won't be happening? The hope that I might call. That certainly won't be happening. So I took a deep breathe and I just hit delete. Deleting a contact in my phone is so very sad. It seems so very final. Like someone died. I used to keep the contacts, for the just in case chance they called me, and I would not be surprise attacked by answering a number I didn't recognize. So I could avoid that hurt. Nope, now I will just act surprised if I ever get a call, because I actually will be.

A new year, a new choice...

Can you hear that?
It's me, exhaling. Pushing all the air out of my lungs and feeling relieved. Relieved that the New Year is here. (Not relieved because I am at work, and I could use some toothpicks to keep my eyes open.)

So I was thinking to myself, what could I change this year for myself. This year is going to be about me. I think I am about due. I am not worrying about everyone else, which I often tend to do. I am going to worry about me.

I think I will change my figure. Really change it. I know I say this every year, that this is the year of the "supermodel" body for me. However, I know it will be. All it takes is a few views of some harsh pictures (yes, a second chin has come to visit and apparently to stay) and some self-talk of why cheese fries call my name, and only I can hear them. SELF TALK, "They aren't talking Diana, they are just sitting on that plate, saying, hi, I am calories to add to your spare tire that sits around your waist." Self-talk is good. So size 8, I beg you, come find me this year. I know you are out there. I am also going to start swimming, and you know why, it's because I got new pink goggles for Christmas. I love swimming, it's a good work out. It's change. And I have decided change is what I need.

Don't worry, there's more. I am not putting up with any crap this year. Hard to believe, yes. But I am officially done keeping the pond calm. I vow that I am not going to do anything I don't want to do. I am not going to sit and listen to something I don't agree with and say nothing to keep the peace. I know it sounds simple, but oh the scariness of conflict brews in my conscious. This one could be a work in progress.

I am going to pay off my debt. I realize that seems small, and my debt isn't overwhelming in the grand sense of the American people, but for me, it's too much. I should have no debt. End of story. So if I have to sit home, eating ramen noodles for 6 months, so be it. This in the end the answer to less stress. At least for me. And when I am debt free, I will skip down to the salon for guiltless pedicures and manicures paid in cash. I will probably be singing too...

So there you have it...a new year for Diana.