The Crotch Patch Jeans

Ok, so I have these jeans, which I love. They fit good. They stretch good. They are the right length. So a few weeks back, tragedy struck and they got a little thin and a hole appeared...at the crotch. This is typical wear and tear I suppose. So my mom, being the excellent seamstress, she put a patch on. I know you what you are thinking. Great, the pants are fixed. BUT WAIT! The patch is on the outside of the jeans. Hello patch on the crotch! I guess this means I can't keep my legs open in any yoga positions. According to my mom and all her perfection, the patch had to be there because of the seam. Whatever. Now, last night, I had a rowdy good time with my dear friend, and well, we laughed, drank wine, discussed our master plan, ran an errand and dyed her hair all in one fail swoop. And then I was getting ready for bed, and HARK, there is a ROWDY HUGE hole next to the genius crotch patch. I know, you think I am a party animal. However, now I have to go to my mom's to get another patch. DOH! Good thing my mom doesn't charge me.