A story about wedding gifts…
Guys have it easy. This is the perk of being a guy. You just show up on your lady's arm and make her look good.
I have been to a little over 879 weddings so I have a system. I NEVER VEER from the registry. They put that together so you won’t get them stupid crap they don’t need from a garage sale.
This genius list is in TIERS. Fancy huh?
Tier 4 – Cash money/gift cards to store on their registry – Just think of it as good fellas, get a card, put some money it. You don’t have time to shop, and no bride and groom are going to turn down money or gift cards. This is the half ass approach and you are too busy traveling and having a good life. [You aren’t a jerk – you got them something] However, if you think $25.00 makes you look cheap, getting a gift can always be cheaper depending on what you get, plus people like opening presents… (SIDEBAR: I LOVE OPENING PRESENTS!! So go ahead and surprise me) See Tier 3.
Tier 3 – Bathroom Supplies – $25.00 and below. This gift is reserved for a wedding that you don’t really want to go, or you don’t like the bride or groom all that much, but you found out there is an open bar. Perhaps some of your fun friends are going. You don’t want to spend too much money, so you get them, a tooth brush holder, soap dish and like 2 wash clothes. Don’t exceed $25.00. [This works perfectly if they are registered at Target]
Tier 2 – Kitchen Supplies - $25.00 - $50.00. This gift is reserved to people you used to like but aren’t in your friend squad or Top 5. You will probably catch up with people and have a decent time, and naturally, there should be an open bar. [This works perfectly if they are registered at Pottery Barn or Williams Sonoma – I once bought an ice cream scoop and napkin rings, didn’t exceed 25.00 and called it a day, plus I still received a thank you note in the mail]
Tier 1 – Bedding and Towels - $50.00 - $100.00+ This gift is reserved for people who are 1) your family or 2) your friend squad or Top 5. The money doesn’t matter as much because you actually like these people and are happy for them and are not taking bets while in the chapel on a possible future divorce date… This is when you pull out the goods and get them big fluffy bath towels or bedding like sheets with 1000 thread count. [This is where you go to Macy’s or Dillard’s or somewhere good]
Go forth and send that RSVP back. The End.