Once upon a time, it was the day I needed to go get my cleaning at the dentist. I HATE GOING TO THE DENTIST. I would rather see any other doctor. I'd rather go to the Gyno. No one says that.
So I go to the dentist, I am a bit early because I have a hockey game to go to with Ms. Chuck Taylor and her perfect husband Level 13. I get there and I sign in and I sit down. The lady at the front says my hygienist is running behind. I am all ready annoyed. So something like years later, I get called back.
It's time for x-rays. Damn it. So the lady puts those uncomfortable pieces of film in mouth and snaps pictures. Then I go back to the dental chair, and I sit, and sit, and sit. Now I am going to miss my carpool to the AAC. I am pissed. So then I find out my dental hygienist that I actually didn't hate, but liked is gone. Of course. They were like "well your hygienist is still behind, do you mind if Gloria does your cleaning? She's great." LIAR!!! So I get some crazy woman, name Gloria. I am sure Gloria's goal in life is to scrap the outer lining of bone off my teeth. She takes that pick and scraps my teeth to death. THEN, she uses the fluoride cylinder drill thingy. Mint. Does she ask me what flavor I want? Hell no. I would pick pina colada so I could at least day dream that I am on an island with an umbrella in my mouth. Then she flosses. At this point, I've missed my carpool and it's been almost an hour and a half. I am really pissed now. So then the dentist comes to see me. She makes a comment about my beautiful blue eyes, but that isn't going to work. So I tell her about the space where my crown and tooth meet and that it's a party for food to hang out at. She then tells me that I could get fitted for another crown.
I immediately stated that it better be free. I said, this is the second crown right now, I had it done here and I am not paying for another one. She tells me that there is a fee. Of course there is. She says well you could get a night guard. I tell her I all ready wear a retainer at night because I am also not ever getting braces again or for the remainder of my life. Heaven forbid you just fix the damn thing. So then I ask if there is anything medically wrong with that tooth or the tooth next store. She says there is not, so then my question is why are we even talking about this? There is a space, yes, I know. I was making her aware, that is all. I floss, food comes out, it's all good. She says that she can watch the tooth. Yea, you do that. Watch it and make sure nothing goes wrong, isn't that what I am paying for? For the love of Pete, it's like since I didn't have any cavities, they had to find something that they could charge for me for. So I go to the front and tell them I am not getting another crown and if I do need another one for any reason, it better be gold. I want some bling in the back of my mouth if I have to go through that pain again. I will be pimping in the back of my mouth, and cruising with my sweet skull gear shifter.
So now I am leaving the office at 5:30 PM. I have to run by the house, get money, throw on my red wings shirt and head out. I park in the million dollar parking area and haul ass to the will call. I had to park there because I was alone and didn't want to get snatched after the game. You pay to park in a well lit area. I think I will rather than die.
I also didn't get a bobble head.
The End.
