Saturday, January 31, 2009

The Spring Clean of 2009

Hello from the bottom of my closet. You pick which one. So my good friend and I have vowed to have a garage sale. I know, I could haul all this crap down to Goodwill. Yes, I know there is a tax right off. **The gaybors told me, at least twice** But hey, I got a lot of good stuff that I believe people would pay good money for. So guess what, in order to clean up my finances, life and other such things, I am going to sell the stuff. So my garage is starting to bulge. It looks like a clusterF*&%. I don't even like to pull the car in and see all the crap staring at me. BUT, there is also a sense of accomplishment. Because, when I walk into the house, I know IT has less crap in it. I will admit, I haven't cleaned out the house in what 4 years, or since I moved in. So guess what, more stuff has been bought and brought in.


So the process began like this. One room a weekend. I started with the kitchen, which included the fridge. Mustard doesn't last forever, contrary to my belief. I would hate to die from eating it. It's amazing what I stuffed in the pantry. The kitchen took about 3 hours. I re-organized and got rid of crap I didn't want, use or need. From there, I moved to the upstairs. The laundry room clean out was conducted on Martin Luther King Day. I celebrated with throwing out more stuff. The next room was the hall closet. I know it's not a room, but good grief, I found 3 unused cans of shaving cream. Good to know, since now I don't have to buy it for 6 months. OK, OK, who are we kidding? at least a year. I am not the biggest fan of shaving my legs. I am blond, no one can see it. So who cares. Oh did I mention it's winter too? Right. So even though I am brunette on the top, I am a blond true in true. OK, back on topic. Then I cleaned out the bathrooms, and you know what I mean, under the sink. It's amazing how much bath and body stuff you store when you don't know you have it, and continue to buy more body wash. I don't need body wash for at least a year. REALLY!!! Or candles for that matter, doing good on those too. So TODAY, I did the guest room closet and guest room drawers. It took another 3 hours. Oh and I did one end table in my bedroom. Amazing on what I found. An old diary, old pictures of boyfriends, year books from high school, 9 race medals, *SIDEBAR* I have run 6 half marathons and 3 full marathons. I didn't even know that until I found the drawer with all my medals in it. AWESOME.


So here is what I have left. The other end table, the EVIL bedroom closet, and *scarier music* the ATTIC! ARGH. I have to say I saved the best for last. That could take more time. But I definitely believe in the one room a weekend or insanity might set in.


Cleaning the house, is cleaning out my life. It's a good thing. It's good for me.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

A contact deleted...

So today I woke up very sad. It's not because I wanted to. It was out of my control, really! I was dreaming. Dreaming of an old love. Dreaming, so when I woke up, I almost thought it was real. I hate that. It's frustrating. Can't you block that stuff?

***SIDEBAR: I was watching "My Own Worst Enemy" with Christian Slater, and he has a memory chip so he can have 2 personalities. I want that installed this year. ***

I mean I wish I could control my subconscious, because if I could, I would erase that person for my memory for the new year, then when I was finally done missing him, I would enter him back in for the good memories. This seems to happen when I am deep in sleep, and then when I wake up, I smile, and then frown and then cuss the alarm because clearly it's too early to be getting up. I am going to add something to throw the next time. Something that could shatter into a million pieces, like a vase. That might be a good release. I also contemplated a voodoo doll. I know, I know, it's bad, but boy if it worked, that would be so cool.

So today as I was sitting at my desk, avoiding the audits I so clearly need to be doing. I opened my phone, and deleted that old love. I would say his name, but I vowed not to do that in the new year either. No stories about him, no saying his name, and if I could control it, never thinking about him. Deleted everything, the address, the phone number, the email, everything. Is this part of the cleansing? I don't know. It was hard, like I didn't want to let it go. But then I asked myself, what the heck am I keeping this for? The hopes of a phone call that won't be happening? The hope that I might call. That certainly won't be happening. So I took a deep breathe and I just hit delete. Deleting a contact in my phone is so very sad. It seems so very final. Like someone died. I used to keep the contacts, for the just in case chance they called me, and I would not be surprise attacked by answering a number I didn't recognize. So I could avoid that hurt. Nope, now I will just act surprised if I ever get a call, because I actually will be.

Friday, January 2, 2009

A new year, a new choice...

Can you hear that?
It's me, exhaling. Pushing all the air out of my lungs and feeling relieved. Relieved that the New Year is here. (Not relieved because I am at work, and I could use some toothpicks to keep my eyes open.)

So I was thinking to myself, what could I change this year for myself. This year is going to be about me. I think I am about due. I am not worrying about everyone else, which I often tend to do. I am going to worry about me.

I think I will change my figure. Really change it. I know I say this every year, that this is the year of the "supermodel" body for me. However, I know it will be. All it takes is a few views of some harsh pictures (yes, a second chin has come to visit and apparently to stay) and some self-talk of why cheese fries call my name, and only I can hear them. SELF TALK, "They aren't talking Diana, they are just sitting on that plate, saying, hi, I am calories to add to your spare tire that sits around your waist." Self-talk is good. So size 8, I beg you, come find me this year. I know you are out there. I am also going to start swimming, and you know why, it's because I got new pink goggles for Christmas. I love swimming, it's a good work out. It's change. And I have decided change is what I need.

Don't worry, there's more. I am not putting up with any crap this year. Hard to believe, yes. But I am officially done keeping the pond calm. I vow that I am not going to do anything I don't want to do. I am not going to sit and listen to something I don't agree with and say nothing to keep the peace. I know it sounds simple, but oh the scariness of conflict brews in my conscious. This one could be a work in progress.

I am going to pay off my debt. I realize that seems small, and my debt isn't overwhelming in the grand sense of the American people, but for me, it's too much. I should have no debt. End of story. So if I have to sit home, eating ramen noodles for 6 months, so be it. This in the end the answer to less stress. At least for me. And when I am debt free, I will skip down to the salon for guiltless pedicures and manicures paid in cash. I will probably be singing too...

So there you have it...a new year for Diana.