Once upon a time, I have not blogged in quite a while. So to all my millions of followers, I apologize for the lack of humor in your life these last few months. ONWARD.
So, as you may or may not know, I loathe early mornings. There are several reasons why, but I am quite sure it stems back to my mom having me at 12:04AM. Basically is a birth right to a night person, and NOT a morning person. Many people have fought me on this idea, but have lost. There are several examples of how the morning is truly the thorn in my very large foot. For starters, the alarm always goes off too soon. I am sure it doesn't help, that I like to stay up late. The second thing is, I sleep walk to the bathroom. Imagine a zombie movie and then insert me in the morning. It's basically the same thing. Now, to add to the picture you have in your head. Recently, my left foot has been killing me. The middle of my foot. Well in the morning (because it is morning and morning is evil), it REALLY hurts, so picture a limping zombie. Hopefully it's getting better because of my hot foot doctor. We shall see.
So typically Mondays are the most rough day for me of the week. Fridays, I hop out of bed....well I move slightly faster, but not much. So last night, I couldn't fall asleep. I am sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I was watching Power and Privilege on channel 38. It's like 20/20 for murder, death, kill cases. SIDEBAR: It's like a mystery, that says, oh the rich guy's wife killed him for someone hotter and she also wanted the rich guy's money. That's about 90% of them. Oh and I was playing candy crush, level 38, until I ran out of lives, then I listened to new ring tones. I mean, clearly I was overusing technology. So finally, I turn everything off and lie there, and eventually fall asleep. So 5 minutes later, it's morning. Well that is at least what it felt like. So I hit snooze once. ONLY once, so I though, hey this morning may not suck. WRONG. That was just the beginning.
First, I opened my top drawer to get a bra out. Well they were all in the laundry room hanging up. No problem, I will go get one on my way downstairs. Proceed with the getting dressed. Then, I put my hot mess of hair up in a ponytail. So I threw on some make up and headed downstairs to make my lunch. Yep, I did nothing but sit on my ass watching tv on Sunday night, heaven forbid I make a lunch then. I think I will do it Monday when I barely have enough time because I can't get my zombie self out of bed.
So I hurry to get to the train station and as I arrive, the train was leaving without me. Unbelievable. So as I am turning around and heading down the road, I hit the freeway and I my seat belt is on. But something seems a little off. I realize, I am not wearing a bra...
Now if this was MIss Italian Accountant, there wouldn't be a problem. Just recently she mentioned to me that she doesn't even wear a bra half the time. You see she is a negative A. Her work uniform is a tank top and shorts. She has a virtual office. I could only hope to have that job some day.
So for a moment, I thought I really need to go home and get one. BUT THERE WAS NO TIME! I literally get anxiety from being late to things that require me to be on time. So I continued to drive. Needless to say, I pretty much got out of doing New Hire Orientation. I mean I have a suit coat at work that is rather small. Not to mention, I have done the New Hire Orientation for several weeks and I just had a few days off, so I think this may have caused exceptionally rough morning. So someone else did it. That was the perfect way to get out of doing New Hire Orientation.
The End.
