Friday, January 7, 2011

Throw your coat on that puddle, so I can cross.

How many men do you know that hold a door open for a lady, send hand written thank-you notes, attend every event without fail and always maintain good conversation? Yep, I can think of very few. A handful maybe, one I must include would be my dad.

Once upon a time when I was growing up, I was taught manners. I remember the lessons well because they were beat into me and as you may know my parents psychologically traumatized me as a kid. I will give you 2 really good examples:

1) The Dinner Table

In order to leave the table, you had to ask permission. I hated and loathed this rule. It was every night and it was a beat down. I tested the rule many times, all were unsuccessful. It had to happen just like this,"Mom/Dad, May I please be excused from the table?" You could not say, "Can I be excused?" You could not say, "hey I am done, can I get up?"

2) Please and Thank you


I had to say please and thank you. This wasn't too hard. Especially since they would go, you would like what? and you had to say it again and then say please or thank you.

Now to the story at hand.

Once upon a time, I had a date. I met this dude on Eharmony, named Mark. He seemed nice. He was working on his PhD. I like smart dudes. I have to, being the smartest girl in Bedford. So he was 6''4, and was from up north (Ohio). Now, Ohio State still sucks, but northerners are cool people. So he said, and I quote, "let's meet for a drink" Since he was new to the area, I drove to Addison, which is a 30 minute drive. I arrive. He comes in. He looks like a teacher. He has a weird wool coat on. It's trendy, but very professor like. Think Sean Connery in Indiana Jones, the search for the holy grail. So I had all ready got myself a beer because I got there early. We get a table. Conversation is fine. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Then I say, well I better get going because I have work in the morning. The waitress comes by and get ready for it...


Waitress: "all on one?" (this means, both of our beers on one check)

Mark "SEPARATE"




I was like, WHAT? I thought I heard him wrong until the lady brings me my own bill of $12.00.

I am sorry, last time I checked, if you do the asking, then you do the paying. What is wrong with people?

I took a survey on this issue. My mom, was naturally ticked off, and then said, "your dad would never do that" Same with my work folks. My close friends told me to give it 1 more date just in case it was a fluke. So I did.

Our second and FINAL date was at the Kimball Art Museum. He had to drive and hour. That satisfied me. At least when he told me he drove an hour, I think I might have had an evil grin on my face. I drove 15 minutes. We went in and got tickets. When the price was announced, I stood there looking into space. He paid. But the kicker was that he used his school id. REALLY! I know your still in school but you are 36! So the cheapskate alert went off. Then afterwards, we went to Starbucks. Yep, I got a venti, or whatever the hell the biggest one is. We chatted, then I went home and he went home.

I am not all that impressed. Haven't talked to him since. He was probably pissed he had to pay. WHATEVER.

Good luck finding a girl who wants to keep paying for herself. I all ready have to pay for myself. I am single, remember!

The End.