I remember 29, my glory year. A trip to Vegas with my girlfriends and a great celebration at a Piano bar...my friends wore all black. Then I finally noticed. Assholes. It was memorable. I also remember clinging to 29. 30 seemed old. They even had a show, 30-Somethings. I didn't watch it, but I remember it. Maybe because I was 9 years old at the time...30 was old...
But alas, 39 might be worse. I don't want to be 40 or 41 through 49...My 30's were awesome, contrary to what I thought it would be like. You really find out who you are in your 30's, but with fewer mistakes. You know what I learned best, the word, "NO!" No, I am not going to another baby shower (you had one with your first kid - and that is all you get in my book), instead I am sending a gift off the registry. (SIDEBAR: Never veer from the registry.) Don't be that person. In my 20's, I said, "YES" to everything.
You want to go to happy hour? Yes.
Do you want to go to a concert when it is 105 degrees outside? Yes.
Do you want to buy stuff you don't need? Yes.
Do you want to go to a baby shower? Yes.
I wore my damn self out with Yes. I couldn't say no. I wanted to go to everything, see everything and do everything, and I was going to fit it ALL in.
When I look back, it makes me laugh. Now, I am like nope - I went to happy hour yesterday. No, it's too damn hot. No, I don't need new crap. No, I am sending a gift. NO, NO, NO.
I know what you are thinking. This is one bitter chick. It's not the case. I consider myself a happy person. Now, would I like all the stars in my life to align? Sure, who doesn't? It never happens that way. So now, I am in my 30's, my job is great. Did you hear that? I am shocked too. Maybe it is because I am not the youngest, and I am not the oldest, I am in the sweet spot. I can speak up now. But still not like my dad or anyone else 55 and older. That will be my next phase. I can shoot my damn mouth off and if they don't like it, I will up and retire. 55, and I am out!!! I don't have that luxury just yet. I don't want to make any career ending moves...My top 5 doesn't believe I will stop working. I can't wait until they are WRONG!
OK, now to the good part. At work, we got a new analyst on our account. Here are the sad and shocking stats:
His nickname is Bambi (given by me)
This is his first job out of college
He lives with his parents
He has no wrinkles or gray hair
He does not get my movie quotes, which is heartbreaking
He can eat ANYTHING and not gain weight. *more on that later...
He wants to change the world
He likes everyone
He is probably smarter than I was at 23
He was born...gulp...in 1993. FREAKING 1993. A tear rolls down my face when I do the math and realize I was 16. How did this happen? Literally, I was the youngest in my industry...Not anymore.
Bambi can eat a large cup of ice cream from Cold Stone Creamery, every.damn.night.
He went home for the week and lost weight. I had to refrain from choking him out... I am trying to make it to Shark week so I can have a small ice cream. His day is coming...Just wait until his pants don't fit. Dress pants aren't cheap my friends...
The morale of this is that I don't want to turn 40. The End.
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