I have almost 100,000 points already. With a Marriott credit card and 3 nights a week in a Marriott for the last 12 weeks, you accumulate points pretty quickly. I think I get free internet access now too. I am almost to GOLD on American Airlines. I don't know what perk that is going to get me, other than boarding before the commoners. I literally live in the back of a plane. It has made me extremely patient when de-boarding. I mean, you can't really plow to the front, although I have imagined it in my mind. I have a learned a few things while working in Oklahoma. People like you to ask how their weekend was. They like friendly people, which I typically am. The mullet hasn't left. I saw a woman with tennis shoes on with pantyhose and flash-backed to the 80's. When I first arrived, I was pretty much hoping to meet a rich oil man who would allow me to live the life of leisure, similar to my mom. Alas, I did meet an MMA fighter, who looks like "The Thing" from the fantastic 4 made of all rock. Sadly, he has a girlfriend. This said girlfriend has 4 children. The hunt continues...plus, he is basically the boss of me. He reminds me a little of Vin Diesel, and hence that is what I shall call him, Vin, to protect the innocent, plus he is a lot more intelligent.
However, if he pulls up in a muscle car, I know I would die laughing on the street, especially if he ever recites the following, "I don't have friends, I have family," or "I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Nothing else matters, not the mortgage, not the store, not my team, and all their bullshit, For those 10 seconds or less, I am free." That would totally be fine if I were 23. The most amusing part, was when someone here at the client site spotted us doing something suspicious such as walking, talking, attending meetings and eating lunch. We weren't inter-locking arms and drinking champagne flutes in the food court, although that would make my afternoon fly by if we did. This mystery person told Vin's girlfriend. You know what I felt? Absolutely no guilt. I have not crossed any line, except maybe buying him a brass knuckle mug as a thank you. Regardless, we aren't planning a trip to a bed and breakfast.
So back at the ranch, (my house), I have decided to take up dating again. It sounds like a hobby doesn't it? Do you feel like this is a revolving door? Yea, me too, and it's my life. My running buddy, gave me some advice and it was to try. Maybe she happened to have good timing, because that weekend, I signed up for Match.com, and then a few weeks later, Coffee Meets Bagel, and then Tinder. I figured I might as well hit it hard. Go big or go home as they say. I think this was in like June. Fast forward to October when I actually get some dudes in the queue. It takes time to fill a pipeline or it takes me time to fill a pipeline. So I meet one guy on Coffee Meets Bagel. He is a teacher that looks crazy. His crazy, is what I found amusing and flattery will get you everywhere with me. So he texted me and then texted me some more. That is the conclusion of this story. That's all she wrote. Text messaging. Then, it just stopped. I tried. I did. But at this point, I really need someone to make an effort with me. A time, a place, a plan for crying out-loud. When I make an effort, it seems like I am the only one making the effort, and I am plum worn out. Maybe my typical, I am all in, is what is sabotaging my relationships. Maybe I just need to be harder to get. So Bagel has missed the boat with me. If he were to text me again, I might even text back, "who dis?" I am tempted, really tempted.
Onto the next guy, he showed promise early on. He has a similar job to me, where he travels during the week. It has to do with some hospital equipment and wiring. Literally, he has talked about it to me for several hours of my life and I am still not sure exactly what he does. It also appears he works with less than competent people. Some of the perks in the beginning included that he seemed financially sound. He even bought some land on Lake Texoma...for his art supplies. Imagine a car screeching to a stop. Art supplies? What? Next question, do you like sports, specifically hockey? No...a little part of me died that day. If you know me, then you know I need a guy's guy. The perks started to fade for me. Add the following: his brother lives with him because he is divorced, he is 47, which is 10 whole years older than me, and his voice reminds me of a character from the Simpsons. I am not trying to be mean, but once the voice is in your head, it's in your head. Fast forward, he asks me to dinner. I say yes. I made myself a rule of you can go on one damn date Diana. One date won't kill you. Fast forward to said date. I hardheartedly put forth first date effort. I curled my hair, put my face on, and did not pick out jeans. SIDEBAR: Once upon a time, I assumed the date would be jeans worthy (back in college) and I failed...and I failed miserably. Henceforth, I overdress unless it is discussed prior. I had a lovely blue silk shirt and some flow-y pants, matched with flat shoes. SIDEBAR: I am wearing heels from now on. I can't help I drank enough milk as a kid. This fool showed up in an olive green knitted t-shit. It didn't have a front pocket or a clever saying, not that that would have made it acceptable, but I would have been at least amused. He also wore jeans, and even in my flat shoes, I was taller. FAIL. 5'11 my ass. We went to Pappadeaux. He gets no points for creativity. NONE. Goose egg for him. However, I ran 11 miles, let me rephrase that, I was dragged 11 miles that morning. I would have eaten a snapping lobster out of the tank with my bare hands at that point.
I got blackened Mahi Mahi with dirty rice (the smaller portion). He gets stuffed shrimp of which he eats with his hands. There is a fork and knife nearby, but hell, it's a first date, pretend you are eating chicken wings, what do I care? He talked about work, I nodded. We order dessert (I burned 5,000 calories, stop judging me), and he talks about work. I check my watch, he talks about work. Then he goes, "are you ready to go?" I'll be damned if the ceiling didn't open at that very moment and church music started to play. I snap to and he walks me to my car. I say thank you, hug, and scene!
Stay Tuned for a new date story...
The End.
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