teeth, a headache, and old flame...

So last night I went out for a few drinks with my friends, the HR kid, Hollywood and the Sexy mom. I mean it was loud, and we were all talking loud and laughing with our heads thrown back. It was nuts. We had a few drinks and then the shots began. I love shots, they are fun, you do them fast, you feel a little dizzy and they always under no circumstances seem like a good idea. It's shows that you are having a good time. The HR kid, didn't have any, and she left early, but no worries, we kept on laughing. So then tragedy struck, and this older gentleman came over to us right as we were all commenting about how we had boobs and were female. Naturally just as I point mine out he comes up and says he would like to rest his head there. I mean does this work for guys? I guess it might if you have more than 2 teeth! REALLY! 2 teeth. This is America, where orthodontists run wild and are on every corner. There are fake teeth you know. You can get them installed like spark-plugs. Dang! And I got to thinking, am I in the boondocks or what? So we were nice and he left. Then he comes back again, and asks if we are single. I immediately point out that Sexy mom is married and it doesn't hurt that she has a ginourmous ring, I blurt out that I am engaged and moved my ruby red , non engagement ring to my left hand. So 2 teeth asks Hollywood if she wants his number. I was like WHAT? This guy is an original. Scary. And in all her poise, Hollywood says, "no thank you" How classic is that? She could have told him to piss off. It was a great moment.

So I get home, drink some kool-aid, throw down some advil, throw on an old flannel shirt and head to bed. So around 11am, when I roll out of bed, my mom had texted me. And my dad had run into an old flame of mine. He was actually my first true love and he always hold a dear spot in my heart. I can reflect on that time in my life and smile. He was wonderful and I know I don't really see him or hear from him, I know if we met up, it would be a nice thing. So my mom tells me he has started running. Ironic. I have been a runner for 13 years, running many races and feeling good about it. Apparently, the bug is catching on. I like that he is running. I like when anyone new I know gets into it. Running is like the best thing for stress, and I met some of my dearest friends in the running group. It came at a perfect time in my life. Although I am not running as often, I still love it. I just have school sucking my will to live and I don't have the time for the training schedule. That is a training schedule for a half or full marathon.

Ok so I got sidetracked. This old flame of mine was great, we dated about 4 years and then parted ways. But I have stuff that reminds me of him, and I didn't burn it or throw it away when we broke up. I kept it. So that flannel shirt I was sleeping so comfortably in was his. It's faded and pink, but it's still a man's shirt. It's worn to the perfect amount of softness, and I love to wear it in the winter. It's too big and I just walk around in it with slippers but I always think fondly of him. Just when I wasn't thinking about him, my folks run into him. As my Miss happy go lucky says, it's the universe bringing me some happiness today...

Mail that is not a bill

Oh joyous day, is the day when you get mail that is NOT a bill. So I strolled down to the mailbox just yesterday and it had been a while. My box was stuff with all kinds of stuff, tax W2, grocery fliers, and the secret package. So I had an envelop from my dear friend Miss Happy Go Lucky. But to my surprise I opened it and it was the most awesome gift. The Shit List. It's a pad where can write down the offender, violation and plan of attack. And it has these genius plans of attack, confront, ignore, stew (which is my favorite), avenge, talk shit, and a blank. I mean I have to get started. It even as a severity rating. It's genius. I am so happy. I needed this. Because as you know, I am trying to confront my anger more constructively. Always a challenge for one who doesn't like to rock the boat. But this year I am rocking it!

Make-up, the kiss of death

So I had this blog idea earlier this week, but I actually had work to do, so here we go...

About a week ago, I fell deathly ill. I went to work on Friday and I had a miserable sore throat, and I initially thought it was from running the heat. But to my misfortune, it was not the heat. By the way, someone, and I am not naming names, infected me at work. Trust me, I know it was her. Now, back to my ailments. So Saturday, I woke up and thought I was going to have my throat surgically removed, but I went to the doctor, and he gave me a strep test, told me I was negative but insisted it was strep, so gagging culture #2 took place, and it was sent to the lab. He sent me on my way with no antibiotics, because he is a genius. Now, I stay in the house ALL weekend, which is what I love to do on my weekends. THEN, I start to see a glimmer of hope on Sunday and had decided I was all better. So I head out to the movies, how can that hurt right? More sitting... So then I get home, and realize, I am still sick, who would know? So I wake up on Monday and I am certainly dying and call into work sick. My head was about to explode, throat was still not cooperating, and I was rather thirsty. So I watch 37 hours of tv in a row. Then I wake up on Tuesday and decide I don't want to burn a sick day, but I still feel bad. So I did what is most dreaded in life to all the world surrounding me. Yes, I didn't put my face on...(insert horror music now) And you would think that people thought I came off an alien planet. They were like whoa, are you sick? What happened? I was pissed to say the least. Look, I realize I am blonde, and I have blonde eye lashes and blonde eyebrows, and rosy cheeks, but guess what people, I mosturize and I don't have wrinkles yet...knock on wood. And I don't think the world is going to end if I miss a day of freaking mascara. It ticks me off. If it weren't for all this make up we have to wear everyday, then we could get ready that much faster. Guess what, men don't wear make up and it's perfectly fine, but good lord, you feel a little under the weather, you skip the mascara so you can rub your eyes, and people could donate to your death fund. I mean really? UGH. Ok that concludes my blog about make up. See you later with my face on...

Tupac said it best, "today was a good day"

So yesterday, I was driving home, and I hit a raccoon. I have never hit an animal, but I certainly heard the thud. Don't be alarmed, I didn't swerve. (recall the important lesson I learned in Michigan this year, "Don't VEER for DEER!!") I realize this is a random fact, but before this mistaken murder, I was thinking...

I am happy this year. Truly happy. My friend Miss Happy Go Lucky, would tell me, "the universe is on your side." I am happy with all the things in my life. (well with the exception of my balance on my credit card), but overall, I can't complain. My nails are super long, not chipped and painted red. This is rare because of boxing, hockey and house cleaning. See the photo, and then sigh. I made it through my company Christmas party (with a date, I might add) without numchucking anyone. The real challenge is today, when the comments roll in. Don't worry, I don't have to ask for them, people just offer that info for free. However, it wasn't a bunch of negagtive Nancys which I have come to expect. I succesfully pulled off the GREATEST surprise party EVER for my mom, with a little help from my friends. Go ahead, sing the Beatles song, I know you want to. My mom is amazed that I can keep such a good secret. I have gotten quite good in the last few years. I am like a sponge of info. Plus as a bonus, my cousins Robert and Amber came, and it was just nice to be reminded how much fun they are. They tell the best stories, laugh with the most volume, and generally make feel glad that we are family.

I am also dating someone who is nice. The gang has nickednamed him Diego. Which is fine with me. He is nice, and thoughful and considerate. He has a personality and a life and he brings some laughter into my day. I am thankful he is around.

Tonight I am cooking for the neighbors, so I am happy to be spending time with the people I like the best. Although, Hollywood, has started the meal at home. Hey she is a teacher, she has lots of fun vacation. When she isn't being an actress, my side kick, master direction giver, friend, advice giver and what not, she is helping me cook a mean vat of taco soup! Nice.

Although I am dragging today from being up late, I managed to find time to write a blog.

Diana Out

The day before vacation...

So it's the day before vacation, and I am so excited. Why because Employee Appreciation Week beat me down last week, and I am still wheeling from it. Clearly by Friday, I just had to try out the slide in the bounce house to ensure that it was fun for the children. But seriously, that week is hellicious! The planning alone is a beat down. However, this year, I had a new little helper, the kid aka Chicago. She is our new HR rep, and she is 12. Don't worry, I all ready told her she was 12. She reminds me of me when I first started working my first job after college. So full of life and good ideas and energy. The cynicism hasn't even touched her. It's great. Not to mention, she is a yankee, and that makes her my people. I am happy she is here, and I am happy that she helped with this Employee week, because without her, it could have been much, much worse. Like say, LAST YEAR!

So tomorrow I am heading off to Traverse City which is very awesome because it reminds me of my childhood. My family and I used to always vacation there, and I remember this awesome little magic shop. I hope it's still there. This time, I am taking my BFF Hollywood with me. She is very excited too and has focused on bringing a parka. I think it's funny. But it won't be too funny when the temp drops to 38 at night. Well it won't be funny for her if she forgets that parka.

So today, although it is Tuesday, it is really my Friday. So I better get to cracking. I have a paper to write for school.

A typical Monday in August

So I dreaded today as I do every Monday. I laid on the couch like a slug yesterday barely moving. I do this on June's (June is my mom, it's her code name) couch, because even though I have my own coach, her couch feels like home. So laying on it leads to eating on it, which leads to drinking fabulous coffee on it, that is so good the kitchen could become a cafe, and this is because she brings it to you while you lay on the couch and always brings me something sweet such as a white powdered brownie, like last night. Yep, she made brownies just because she felt like it. I did not inherit this gene. I don't have to ask, it just appears automatically and I like that. It was so good I had the dreaded second cup. I know better. The second cup stands for laying in my own bed flipping from TBS to USA to TRU TV with my eyes wide open and then counting down how many hours it will be until I get to work. I know better.

So I had the most unusal dream of this totally hot italian guy. I can't remember his name, but I remember it being awesome. I can't imagine what prompted it, but I have decided I am destined to marry an Italian. I mean, olive skin, an accent, pasta making skills, num chuck skills, romance in the blood, a desire to have twins. Ok, it could happen. But it was so vivid, I really thought that me and my Italian were going to go motorcycle riding near the ocean.

Then I woke up and it was Monday...

This and That

SO...it's been a while since I have blogged so I have many, many stories to tell.

Story Update #1 "my crotch jeans." They have been repaired 3 times. First the patch that is on the outside of the pants, (how awesome is that?) then I got a hole next to the patch, naturally. Then she fixed the second patch, only to cause another hole. All holes have been patched and life is good again. However, another tragedy has occurred, my MOST favorite running skirt. Yes, the one I wear that is Nike and helped me survived the Disney marathon, has 2 holes in the crotch. You would think all that darn running would make my thighs smaller and prevent the holes. You guessed wrong. They have been sent to my mom's for repair. She claims that she will have to get bathing suit material to salvage this item. This could take a while.

Story #2, a good friend of mine, let's call her Ms. Hot legs, always says, "the universe is on your side" Now I have to admit that that comment seems a little fruity and that she might, in another life, be from California. HOWEVER, sometimes she is right on the money with this comment. So on Monday, I got a freaking cold sore, and if you really know me, this ruins my day and I want to put a brown paper bag on my head. I can't control them but they are the worst thing ever and naturally happen to me at the worst times. It goes back to my Iphone. I don't know if I told you about my Iphone. When I was having dance fever at the bar at a bachlorette party, my iphone fell out of my purse. I didn't notice. I only checked for my wallet, and when I heard a thud, I thought it was nothing. My wallet was still in my purse, and I zipped it up. I had it open while I was getting money out. Well then my girlfriend, let's call her Ms. Hollywood, back at the hotel, gets a text message from me at like 2am, only it wasn't me. Someone had found my Iphone on the ground. YIKES! He or She texted her because she was the last person I called I guess. So the person said he was staying at Joule (some hotel in Dallas), and that he would leave it at the front desk for me under my name. So Ms Hollywood said OK, and that we would pick it up the next day. So when I got to the hotel at 3am, Ms. Hollywood told me the story. So of course, I was totally stressed out because that dang phone has my whole life in it and I haven't backed it up since I got my computer up and running. (that is a whole other story) So I couldn't sleep and I was really wondering if someone was going to "really" leave my phone at the front desk. So we googled the hotel and drove there the next morning and went to the front desk and told the lady, and of course she looked at me like I was crazy and told me to have a seat. I told her my name and described the case. Then 2 minutes later, a man brought me my phone. It didn't even have a scratch on it. So that was good. I was so relieved. So off we went to lunch. So then 1 day later, I woke up with a cold sore probably because all I could think about was a lost phone and $200.00 I would have to spend to replace it. STRESS = COLD SORES in the land of Diana. Stupid body! Moral of the story: the universe is on your side - SOMETIMES - !! Now, what I really felt good about is this, just when you have given up hope on all of humanity and that people are evil and are only out to screw you. (i.e. previous people in my life and some boyfriends who remain nameless) A person appears that actually has some good in their heart. Ah yes, all is right with the world.

Story #3 is my computer. Or maybe I should say the drama continues in my life...My super techy, also known as Ms. Hollywood, was over saving me from another crisis, that also was about my Iphone, and she said, "Diana, this computer is about to die." Then she explained a list of signs, the grinding noise, the 20 minutes it took to boot up, the programs on it. Yadda, yadda, yadda. So I took this info as hey, this is serious. I called my techy genius brother. I said the computer is about to die, and oh by the way, my laptop has administrator rights and guess who isn't the administrator. Move to next scene. I drop laptop off at house for repairs. Repairs include formatting, which means erase and redo in normal human talk. So in the mean time, I was using the junker computer. AND THEN IT DIED. I was making a fabulous ring tone for my gaybors and then nothing. No noise, no boot up and just a black screen of DEATH! So I shipped that computer off too. Then I was computer-less at home for about 10 long days, it would have been much longer if I had not thrown a serious hissy fit at my brother. Hence, 2 days later it was complete, and I had to pay up in the amount of a Thai dinner. I know you think, that is an awesome deal. WRONG. My brother can eat a small human for dinner. But all in all, it was worth it.

Story #4 - my brother the artist with techy type smarts, and a smart dry sense of humor, and crazy fashion sense, and super HATER of all things conventional or normal. Basically through the computer fiasco, I had to get an earful of the following, "don't do this, or your will F it up, or this, or this. And I put on a dummy proof program to help you not F it up."

So basically he has a serious issue with anything mainstream which includes Itunes. Well guess what, I have 2 Ipods and an Iphone, I have to use their freaking program, it backs up my LIFE! So I did the first back up 2 night ago, say good bye to my IPhone apps, I was about to by super hysterical, but then I learned that was the only small issue. No contacts or calendar items were deleted so I didn't have to throw the computer down the stairs.

That is folks. Enjoy.