Topics of Conversation to Avoid During a First Date

Once upon a time, in a bar and grill in Texas, two people were having their first date.  I met Mr. Richards for drinks and dinner, I think.  So I arrived a tad bit late which almost never happens but I went to the wrong place.  I will admit, it was my fault, and I did not put the correct address in the GPS.  However, when I did arrive, Mr. Richards had permanent glasses.  I say permanent because according to his profile pictures they were not there.  He was also fluffier than I remember.  Regardless, he started to talk.  And talk...and talk.  Somehow we got on the topic of weddings.  I find that this should be avoided.  Period.  The End.  He had an engagement ring  because a long time ago (around the end of high school) he asked a girlfriend to marry him.  Now, they did not marry, but I was all ready starting to get concerned.  The engagement ring looked similar to this:

A dolphin engagement ring

THEN, he said that he was going to put her birthstone in the eyes of the dolphin, which was a ruby.  I thought to myself, wow, a possessed dolphin engagement ring.  Could I be looking forward to this?  What surprised me is that he kept talking about her, the engagement, how much the ring was valued at and that the ring could be traded up, and that it took place in a mall.  I hope no one asks me to get married in a mall, or worse, in the food court.   

Now a few people know that I had a plan to meet someone fabulous and get  married on 11-11-11.  Naturally, this was more of a joke than a feasible plan, but do you think I told Mr. Richards that on our first date?  Of course I didn't.  I didn't want him to think I was crazy just yet.  Crazy comes in later right?  Right.  So he talked about his upbringing in a small town (first warning alert) his career, his college years, his high school years, his perception of being the class clown and how funny he thought he was, his refection on the truck he had to recently trade in for a more economical car, basically everything under the sun.  I didn't even have to ask him a question because I sat there just listening.  Listening for 3 1/2 hours.  (Now I do deserve brownie points for all that listening, something I am personally working on)  I started to look at his watch, then I had to cut him off and say, in the land of people, I have to get up and go to work tomorrow.  He, of course, did not.  I think I am a little too nice.  I should have ran out of the restaurant screaming in horror after seeing this engagement ring.  I know what I would like, but it sure as hell isn't this.  I collect PEZ but I don't want an engagement ring that looks like a pez with a diamond in it.  He paid for the 2 beers I had.  In hindsight, I should have had 10 beers and then called Miss Silky Hair for a ride home, and left the car there.  It would have been a totally awesome plan and made the talking bearable!  At least if I had 10 beers I could use my raised voice, cut him off and been a little wild.  One of my friend's told me that is not a raised voice, it's my yelling voice.  I am not sure I recognize the difference.  He walked me to my car and gave me a hug.  I thanked him for dinner, because that is what nice girls do that have good manners.  He said to text him to let him know I made it home all right.  Thoughtful, yes.  I made it home at mach speed because I felt like I was on the show mission impossible and that I may never see my home again.  Naturally he had a wonderful time.

I also recently went to a wedding (imagine that).  Now usually, I am the one in tears though it.  My gaybors made fun of me the last time.  But I know exactly what it is, it is the part when the dad gives the daughter a way.  I guess I feel really sad for the dad, and maybe myself a little too.  I know it is meant to be happy, but I am always a little tearful.  I feel a little of the loss of a close friendship.  However, I am pretty sure my dad would high-five the guy at the alter if I ever got married.  Followed by these exact words, "finally you are taking her off my hands, whoo hoo!!!"  But at this wedding, no tears, nothing.  Perhaps I am becoming my jaded and the sentimental part of me is just over it.   Or maybe the bad date was still too fresh in my mind.

Needless to say, I think I am throwing in the towel.  I decided this the day after this date.  I think I am just done.  If I have to have one more bad date, I might join a convent.  I bet they would let me in if I let them read my blog with all the bad dates.  Sister Princess Diana does have an interesting ring.  Do you think they would make me drop the Princess part?