So this year I planned on going on a cruise with my gaybors and the karaoke king. But prior to leaving, I had to get ready. First I did laundry - what a pain! BUT, I did buy a few new clothes and had to pull the tags off and wash them. You know when you don't, you end up with black fuzzy armpits. I laid these clothes out in the staging room (also known as the guest room and past room of my roommate Mr. Basketball). Then I had to get my mani and pedi. So I arrive at the salon and I get the "new" girl. I am pretty tired from my day and just sit down so the chair can vibrate my butt to whisk away my stress. So Lynn, Ann or June or whatever her name is, sits down and says and I quote, "you married?" WTF!. It's like a painful every time I hear it. And don't worry, every chick in there has asked me the same identical question and so when I get to my regular salon I usually don't have to deal with it, and they probably whisper there goes that single girl. But not this day. So I tell her no, and that is why I can travel the world, because at that moment, that was the coolest thing I could thing off. If she had then said, "but you so pretty" she would have gotten a ninja kick in the face. So then my toes are done, sadly with no offer of a flower, and she starts my nails, "you want American manicure?, it look so natural." If I wanted natural, I wouldn't freaking be here. I want tropical orange because I am going to the tropics. I want color because that is the point of getting your freaking nails done, because if I did them myself I will have painted half way to my elbow! Then she asks me if I wanted my nails shorter, hell no lady! It is rare that I can even grow them this crazy long length. Paint them like they are! I mean who wants short nails? So then I go to the drying area and as soon as I did the down pour of rain began. Perfect. So now I have crazy long orange nails and an afro!
to be continued...
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