More than an hour!

This is DFW

Once upon a time on a Tuesday morning, all hell broke loose. First, I woke up for cycling. It was a good thing I did, because I checked my flight before I walked out the door. Much to my surprise, the flight was at 8:25am and not 9:25am. So I left and headed to cycling. The second song, Very Sarcastic Valorie played was "Dirty Diana" by Michael Jackson. It's like she knew I was coming to cycling. I thought to myself, what a lovely day. Not to mention the view in front of me was the super hot guy in all black, Johnny Muscles Cash. Who minds getting up earlier when that is the view in front of you? Bravo to your butt and muscle arms. I commend you! And I will sit behind you thinking that in my head, very silently.

So I sweat a little and then leave. I have to take a shower and go to the airport. So I shower, get ready, throw on some fabulous blue eye shadow, and head out. I have the park in the non-covered parking lot. It is always full. I am not thrilled, but what are you going to do? I am not driving around for 20 minutes. I go in, and hit the check point. It has the longest line in the history of the world. I thought I was standing in line for the Ferris Wheel at the Texas State Fair. I was like, uh-oh. So I text Miss Silky Hair, and she hadn't made it through and the lady in front of her was a bitch. So in the mist of me waiting in line. I meet a fabulous New Yorker. It's like yankees and me have an unspoken connection. We pick each other out because we know we are bad ass. So Leigh, and I talk and decide we are doomed to miss the flight. We get there and our flight left without us! Can you believe that? I even asked Miss Silky Hair to hold the plane, like in the movies. Apparently they told her no. Well this morning was not turning out like the movie in my head!!!

Needless to say, I missed the flight. Unbelievable. I have never in my life missed a flight. I pride myself on being punctual. If you aren't sure about that ask, Miss Mom 4. I went to college with her and she can attest to my dinner time being at 5:00pm, on the dot.

So Leigh and I head to the T.G.I.Fridays to eat breakfast. She missed the same flight. I mean what the heck? I am all ready stuck there waiting for the next flight. It's only a mere 2 hours away. Plus, I live for breakfast. That is one thing you must know by now. So after our lovely breakfast and my saving grace cup of coffee, we head to the gate.

I whip out my laptop. I must say that I am quite sure the people around me probably thought I was a powerful executive. I mean I have a laptop with wirless! I can work anywhere. I don't. But the point is that I could! I am sure these other people traveling to Midland surely thought I was running a big company. They might have been admiring my fabulous blue eye shadow, but they probably were thinking they should ask for my business card. Either way, I look important. One time my dad told me a story about how he was so annoyed with everyone talking on their cell phone in the airport, that he held his phone to his ear and started yelling, "SELL, SELL, SELL!!!" Apparently people turned around. He was just annoyed because everyone was talking so loud. I actually thought about doing that, only to prove the point that I could be working on Wall Street selling stocks. I doubt the Midland travelers would believe it, but it is possible.

So FINALLY, I get on the plane. Then a giant businessman in a suit sits next to me. I bust out my Harry Potter book - DON'T JUDGE ME! I didn't read them when they were popular, but now Miss Hollywood has them all and I am borrowing them one at a time. So this dude next to me is totally having a free show of my boobs. I know it. I can't help that it will be 90 degrees in Midland and I have a lovely blouse on. Read your damn newspaper!

So finally I arrive and have to get my rental car. Don't worry, I am a priority member, which means throw me the keys as I walk by, while those other non preferred member schmucks wait in line! I get a KIA. I don't care for KIA because my ninja warehouse manager told me it stood for "Killed In Action" So I am always thinking that a giant army truck is going to steam roll me on a highway when the aliens attack. So far, it hasn't happened. The KIA wasn't bad. It was new and smelled new. So I go to the Plant, and naturally Miss Silky Hair is about to chew off the new cashier's arm. So I just happen to make it in time for lunch. SCORE!

The End.