Hello from the bottom of my closet. You pick which one. So my good friend and I have vowed to have a garage sale. I know, I could haul all this crap down to Goodwill. Yes, I know there is a tax right off. **The gaybors told me, at least twice** But hey, I got a lot of good stuff that I believe people would pay good money for. So guess what, in order to clean up my finances, life and other such things, I am going to sell the stuff. So my garage is starting to bulge. It looks like a clusterF*&%. I don't even like to pull the car in and see all the crap staring at me. BUT, there is also a sense of accomplishment. Because, when I walk into the house, I know IT has less crap in it. I will admit, I haven't cleaned out the house in what 4 years, or since I moved in. So guess what, more stuff has been bought and brought in.
So the process began like this. One room a weekend. I started with the kitchen, which included the fridge. Mustard doesn't last forever, contrary to my belief. I would hate to die from eating it. It's amazing what I stuffed in the pantry. The kitchen took about 3 hours. I re-organized and got rid of crap I didn't want, use or need. From there, I moved to the upstairs. The laundry room clean out was conducted on Martin Luther King Day. I celebrated with throwing out more stuff. The next room was the hall closet. I know it's not a room, but good grief, I found 3 unused cans of shaving cream. Good to know, since now I don't have to buy it for 6 months. OK, OK, who are we kidding? at least a year. I am not the biggest fan of shaving my legs. I am blond, no one can see it. So who cares. Oh did I mention it's winter too? Right. So even though I am brunette on the top, I am a blond true in true. OK, back on topic. Then I cleaned out the bathrooms, and you know what I mean, under the sink. It's amazing how much bath and body stuff you store when you don't know you have it, and continue to buy more body wash. I don't need body wash for at least a year. REALLY!!! Or candles for that matter, doing good on those too. So TODAY, I did the guest room closet and guest room drawers. It took another 3 hours. Oh and I did one end table in my bedroom. Amazing on what I found. An old diary, old pictures of boyfriends, year books from high school, 9 race medals, *SIDEBAR* I have run 6 half marathons and 3 full marathons. I didn't even know that until I found the drawer with all my medals in it. AWESOME.
So here is what I have left. The other end table, the EVIL bedroom closet, and *scarier music* the ATTIC! ARGH. I have to say I saved the best for last. That could take more time. But I definitely believe in the one room a weekend or insanity might set in.
Cleaning the house, is cleaning out my life. It's a good thing. It's good for me.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
A contact deleted...
So today I woke up very sad. It's not because I wanted to. It was out of my control, really! I was dreaming. Dreaming of an old love. Dreaming, so when I woke up, I almost thought it was real. I hate that. It's frustrating. Can't you block that stuff?
***SIDEBAR: I was watching "My Own Worst Enemy" with Christian Slater, and he has a memory chip so he can have 2 personalities. I want that installed this year. ***
I mean I wish I could control my subconscious, because if I could, I would erase that person for my memory for the new year, then when I was finally done missing him, I would enter him back in for the good memories. This seems to happen when I am deep in sleep, and then when I wake up, I smile, and then frown and then cuss the alarm because clearly it's too early to be getting up. I am going to add something to throw the next time. Something that could shatter into a million pieces, like a vase. That might be a good release. I also contemplated a voodoo doll. I know, I know, it's bad, but boy if it worked, that would be so cool.
So today as I was sitting at my desk, avoiding the audits I so clearly need to be doing. I opened my phone, and deleted that old love. I would say his name, but I vowed not to do that in the new year either. No stories about him, no saying his name, and if I could control it, never thinking about him. Deleted everything, the address, the phone number, the email, everything. Is this part of the cleansing? I don't know. It was hard, like I didn't want to let it go. But then I asked myself, what the heck am I keeping this for? The hopes of a phone call that won't be happening? The hope that I might call. That certainly won't be happening. So I took a deep breathe and I just hit delete. Deleting a contact in my phone is so very sad. It seems so very final. Like someone died. I used to keep the contacts, for the just in case chance they called me, and I would not be surprise attacked by answering a number I didn't recognize. So I could avoid that hurt. Nope, now I will just act surprised if I ever get a call, because I actually will be.
***SIDEBAR: I was watching "My Own Worst Enemy" with Christian Slater, and he has a memory chip so he can have 2 personalities. I want that installed this year. ***
I mean I wish I could control my subconscious, because if I could, I would erase that person for my memory for the new year, then when I was finally done missing him, I would enter him back in for the good memories. This seems to happen when I am deep in sleep, and then when I wake up, I smile, and then frown and then cuss the alarm because clearly it's too early to be getting up. I am going to add something to throw the next time. Something that could shatter into a million pieces, like a vase. That might be a good release. I also contemplated a voodoo doll. I know, I know, it's bad, but boy if it worked, that would be so cool.
So today as I was sitting at my desk, avoiding the audits I so clearly need to be doing. I opened my phone, and deleted that old love. I would say his name, but I vowed not to do that in the new year either. No stories about him, no saying his name, and if I could control it, never thinking about him. Deleted everything, the address, the phone number, the email, everything. Is this part of the cleansing? I don't know. It was hard, like I didn't want to let it go. But then I asked myself, what the heck am I keeping this for? The hopes of a phone call that won't be happening? The hope that I might call. That certainly won't be happening. So I took a deep breathe and I just hit delete. Deleting a contact in my phone is so very sad. It seems so very final. Like someone died. I used to keep the contacts, for the just in case chance they called me, and I would not be surprise attacked by answering a number I didn't recognize. So I could avoid that hurt. Nope, now I will just act surprised if I ever get a call, because I actually will be.
Friday, January 2, 2009
A new year, a new choice...
Can you hear that?
It's me, exhaling. Pushing all the air out of my lungs and feeling relieved. Relieved that the New Year is here. (Not relieved because I am at work, and I could use some toothpicks to keep my eyes open.)
So I was thinking to myself, what could I change this year for myself. This year is going to be about me. I think I am about due. I am not worrying about everyone else, which I often tend to do. I am going to worry about me.
I think I will change my figure. Really change it. I know I say this every year, that this is the year of the "supermodel" body for me. However, I know it will be. All it takes is a few views of some harsh pictures (yes, a second chin has come to visit and apparently to stay) and some self-talk of why cheese fries call my name, and only I can hear them. SELF TALK, "They aren't talking Diana, they are just sitting on that plate, saying, hi, I am calories to add to your spare tire that sits around your waist." Self-talk is good. So size 8, I beg you, come find me this year. I know you are out there. I am also going to start swimming, and you know why, it's because I got new pink goggles for Christmas. I love swimming, it's a good work out. It's change. And I have decided change is what I need.
Don't worry, there's more. I am not putting up with any crap this year. Hard to believe, yes. But I am officially done keeping the pond calm. I vow that I am not going to do anything I don't want to do. I am not going to sit and listen to something I don't agree with and say nothing to keep the peace. I know it sounds simple, but oh the scariness of conflict brews in my conscious. This one could be a work in progress.
I am going to pay off my debt. I realize that seems small, and my debt isn't overwhelming in the grand sense of the American people, but for me, it's too much. I should have no debt. End of story. So if I have to sit home, eating ramen noodles for 6 months, so be it. This in the end the answer to less stress. At least for me. And when I am debt free, I will skip down to the salon for guiltless pedicures and manicures paid in cash. I will probably be singing too...
So there you have it...a new year for Diana.
It's me, exhaling. Pushing all the air out of my lungs and feeling relieved. Relieved that the New Year is here. (Not relieved because I am at work, and I could use some toothpicks to keep my eyes open.)
So I was thinking to myself, what could I change this year for myself. This year is going to be about me. I think I am about due. I am not worrying about everyone else, which I often tend to do. I am going to worry about me.
I think I will change my figure. Really change it. I know I say this every year, that this is the year of the "supermodel" body for me. However, I know it will be. All it takes is a few views of some harsh pictures (yes, a second chin has come to visit and apparently to stay) and some self-talk of why cheese fries call my name, and only I can hear them. SELF TALK, "They aren't talking Diana, they are just sitting on that plate, saying, hi, I am calories to add to your spare tire that sits around your waist." Self-talk is good. So size 8, I beg you, come find me this year. I know you are out there. I am also going to start swimming, and you know why, it's because I got new pink goggles for Christmas. I love swimming, it's a good work out. It's change. And I have decided change is what I need.
Don't worry, there's more. I am not putting up with any crap this year. Hard to believe, yes. But I am officially done keeping the pond calm. I vow that I am not going to do anything I don't want to do. I am not going to sit and listen to something I don't agree with and say nothing to keep the peace. I know it sounds simple, but oh the scariness of conflict brews in my conscious. This one could be a work in progress.
I am going to pay off my debt. I realize that seems small, and my debt isn't overwhelming in the grand sense of the American people, but for me, it's too much. I should have no debt. End of story. So if I have to sit home, eating ramen noodles for 6 months, so be it. This in the end the answer to less stress. At least for me. And when I am debt free, I will skip down to the salon for guiltless pedicures and manicures paid in cash. I will probably be singing too...
So there you have it...a new year for Diana.
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