Tuesday, March 7, 2017

2016 in Review (I was busy!)

Once upon a time, I guess I had a busy 2016.  So this is the dating recap edition.  Consider it like the show Entertainment Tonight - is that even on?

So...I gave up dating FOREVER or for most of the year of 2016.  I completely got off all dating websites.  I did go on a couple dates in the spring of 2016, in St. Louis as a matter of fact, but naturally, I found the guy who didn't have it together.  Are you surprised?  You shouldn't be!  I have a trackers beam for that...Prior to our date - his car didn't start.  Honestly, I am a girl that believes in the cup being half full, but that day may soon be coming to an end.  Instead of thinking oh, I am sure it's just a dead battery...I SHOULD be thinking, cancel this freaking date - RED FLAG!!!  As I say that, 2017 is a new year and well although I had a long break, I figured if I don't try, I shouldn't be complaining.  SIDEBAR - but seriously, can a girl get some recommendations from her friends?

So I read up on some dating sites and honestly, I feel like I may have tried them all.  Some of you may think - well it's you.  WRONG - as Donald Trump would say!  Dating is a numbers game plain and simple...or you can settle.  Here is a short recap of my opinion on dating sites:

Christian Mingle: If you want to find a man here, you better be living at a church or at least attending services on Wednesdays, Fridays and twice on Sundays.  I believe in GOD, and I am not weird.

EHarmony:  This website is just hard to navigate or it was last time I looked at it.  I did meet the Stage 5 Clinger on here, and that was about it.  I do know 2 other people who found their soulmates on this site, so it works for some.

POF (Plenty of Fish):  I went through a phase of not paying for stuff and wound up here.  I met someone, who in my opinion, wasted 1 year and 7 months of my life.  He couldn't hold down a job, he had no savings plan, and he tried to take my spirit.  Thank goodness for self-esteem.

OK Cupid:  I met a guy here too - he was a hipster that lived in Dallas.  He took me on an awesome first date and this place that overlooked the city.  Man, I was so excited.  He dressed nice, had something to say.  Then, he cooked me dinner in his 1 bedroom apartment...and I then got the whole story...He can stay and gentrify that area without me.

Match.com: I have tried this a couple times.  I always get the weird guy.  I went to Plano for a date at Seasons 52, before knowing this guy looked nothing like his picture, was in his 50's, and this restaurant is for card-carrying AARP members.  Oh and he was late and drank bud light.  I did learn some valuable lessons on this one - I am not driving past Grapevine.  I am not driving in a monsoon past Grapevine.  If you are 15 minutes late - I am just walking out.  I am not waiting.  I am leaving.  I don't care if this makes me a bitch.  My time is valuable and I could be spending it with people I like.

Bumble: So I read about this one from @crazyjewishmom on Instagram.  This crazy mom is always trying to set up her daughter and get her to have kids.  So the hook is that you match with some dudes, and you can swipe right or left.  Then the woman makes contact and then you can go from there.  Listen - I can only ask so many questions.  I am a strong, independent woman, but at the same time old fashioned in that I would like the guy to ask me to go out.  Is that so hard to ask?  I mean, I am daring and would most likely say yes.  I mean I don't have to marry anyone after one date unless I am on a reality show...Wait, I should probably be on a reality show...

Hater: So my lovely Italian friend found this one in a twitter article and said I should try it, and you know I was like yep - I am on it.  The premise is to swipe on what you hate vs what you like.  You match with people by a percentage.  It is like finding love by having in common what you hate.  I am pretty sure my soulmate hates: crocs, the word M---- (you know I don't even like to write it), sitting on the same side of the booth at a restaurant, mornings, and those are just a few...My friend is convinced this will be my happily ever after.

So basically the only ones I have left are OUR TIME, which might work out since I am currently working in Florida in God's waiting room.  I mean I could Anna Nicole it and find a rich man with a yacht!  There is JDate, which is for people who are Jewish and I am not.  There is Zoosk, which I don't really know much about....

Well that is your recap.  Enjoy!

The End.